Sananab

{"content":{"id":883,"title":"Derek - Season One","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nGreat cast. Sometimes everything comes together and works but, most of the time, it varies weirdly between cringey, hilarious, boring, touching, and cheesy. I admire the effort (A+), but I'd have rather not wasted my time.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-09-09T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-08-13T01:24:23.000Z","updated_at":"2019-09-10T04:02:07.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=sitcoms\"\u003esitcoms\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=comedy\"\u003ecomedy\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=tv\"\u003etv\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=tens\"\u003etens\u003c/a\u003e"}

Derek - Season One

Great cast. Sometimes everything comes together and works but, most of the time, it varies weirdly between cringey, hilarious, boring, touching, and cheesy. I admire the effort (A+), but I'd have rather not wasted my time.

{"content":{"id":879,"title":"Gladiator (2000)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nI get that most historical movies are about as accurate as this one is, but why use real names? Imagine if they made a movie about Jimmy Carter killing Gerald Ford, and then developing a violent blood feud with some made-up baseball player.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nAnyway, this movie is weird emotions porn and very boring.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-08-31T12:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-08-06T22:49:19.000Z","updated_at":"2019-09-01T14:57:49.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=rome\"\u003erome\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=ancient\"\u003eancient\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=action\"\u003eaction\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=tens\"\u003etens\u003c/a\u003e"}

Gladiator (2000)

I get that most historical movies are about as accurate as this one is, but why use real names? Imagine if they made a movie about Jimmy Carter killing Gerald Ford, and then developing a violent blood feud with some made-up baseball player.

Anyway, this movie is weird emotions porn and very boring.

{"content":{"id":845,"title":"Berserk: The Golden Age Arc 1 - The Egg of the King (2012)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nIt has some good moments, and some dull moments. The trilogy is overall bad and whatever potential I thought this first one had, the next two didn't live up to. Avoid.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-08-30T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-08-01T02:47:09.000Z","updated_at":"2019-08-30T01:25:59.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=anime\"\u003eanime\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=action\"\u003eaction\u003c/a\u003e"}

Berserk: The Golden Age Arc 1 - The Egg of the King (2012)

It has some good moments, and some dull moments. The trilogy is overall bad and whatever potential I thought this first one had, the next two didn't live up to. Avoid.

{"content":{"id":821,"title":"Good Will Hunting (1997)","body":"\u003cimg src=\"/uploads/2bb.png\" class=\"card-image small\"\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nThe plot of this movie is that Will Hunting is a genius but he doesn't want to do genius things. Everyone he talks to tells him to go away because you can't be a genius in Boston. Apparently the only way to be a genius is to leave a city full of world-renown universities. Eventually everyone nags him enough and he gets in his car and drives off to genius land. I think the song that plays as he drives off is \"Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow\", but it's been a while since I've seen it so I might be remembering that wrong.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-08-09T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-07-10T16:35:12.000Z","updated_at":"2020-11-01T21:03:39.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=drama\"\u003edrama\u003c/a\u003e"}

Good Will Hunting (1997)

The plot of this movie is that Will Hunting is a genius but he doesn't want to do genius things. Everyone he talks to tells him to go away because you can't be a genius in Boston. Apparently the only way to be a genius is to leave a city full of world-renown universities. Eventually everyone nags him enough and he gets in his car and drives off to genius land. I think the song that plays as he drives off is "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow", but it's been a while since I've seen it so I might be remembering that wrong.

{"content":{"id":819,"title":"Good Times (1974-1979)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nWhen this show started, it was supposed to be a serious drama disguised as sitcom. Then it became a wacky, nothing-special sitcom because watching people teetering on the edge of starvation is exhausting but watching a funny twenty-minute show at the end of a hard day is nice.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nNorman Lear sitcoms are sometimes emotionally poignant, and they often try to prove a point in a preaching-to-the-choir way. But they're almost never entertaining.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-08-07T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-07-09T02:27:38.000Z","updated_at":"2019-07-09T02:31:02.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=sitcoms\"\u003esitcoms\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=tv\"\u003etv\u003c/a\u003e"}

Good Times (1974-1979)

When this show started, it was supposed to be a serious drama disguised as sitcom. Then it became a wacky, nothing-special sitcom because watching people teetering on the edge of starvation is exhausting but watching a funny twenty-minute show at the end of a hard day is nice.

Norman Lear sitcoms are sometimes emotionally poignant, and they often try to prove a point in a preaching-to-the-choir way. But they're almost never entertaining.

{"content":{"id":664,"title":"Broken Flowers (2005)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nBoring.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-06-24T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-04-26T23:00:11.000Z","updated_at":"2019-05-25T16:16:10.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=drama\"\u003edrama\u003c/a\u003e"}

Broken Flowers (2005)

Boring.

{"content":{"id":726,"title":"Crimson Tide (1995)","body":"\u003cimg src=\"/uploads/25f.jpg\" class=\"card-image small\"\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nSome folks on a submarine decide to have a mutiny, but first they have to ask Aragorn's permission because he has the keys to submarine \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cu\u003eand a gun\u003c/u\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/b\u003e. Aragorn tragically contemplates whether or not to mutiny for a few seconds, then goes all in.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nThe captain and some of his friends decide to start a counter-mutiny, so \u003ci\u003ethey\u003c/i\u003e go to Aragorn, who bites his clenched fist while suffering under the weight of such a monumental decision, then joins up. Then there's a counter-counter mutiny which Aragon joins with great reluctance and so on and so on for about two hours. At the end of the movie, the mutiny leader and the captain shake hands and agree that the real treasure was friendship all along.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-06-22T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-05-23T21:57:10.000Z","updated_at":"2020-07-14T21:55:56.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=suspense\"\u003esuspense\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=war\"\u003ewar\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=thrillers\"\u003ethrillers\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e"}

Crimson Tide (1995)

Some folks on a submarine decide to have a mutiny, but first they have to ask Aragorn's permission because he has the keys to submarine and a gun. Aragorn tragically contemplates whether or not to mutiny for a few seconds, then goes all in.

The captain and some of his friends decide to start a counter-mutiny, so they go to Aragorn, who bites his clenched fist while suffering under the weight of such a monumental decision, then joins up. Then there's a counter-counter mutiny which Aragon joins with great reluctance and so on and so on for about two hours. At the end of the movie, the mutiny leader and the captain shake hands and agree that the real treasure was friendship all along.

{"content":{"id":660,"title":"Watchmen The Movie (2009)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nI can't believe that someone could read Watchmen what must have been dozens or hundreds of times and still completely miss the point. The original comic book is a lot of things, but it's not subtle about the super heroes being pathetic and unheroic. It's like if someone made a detailed film adaptation of To Kill A Mockingbird, and the entire focus was on sewing costumes for school plays.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-05-24T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-04-24T03:40:59.000Z","updated_at":"2019-05-24T03:54:45.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=comic_books\"\u003ecomic_books\u003c/a\u003e"}

Watchmen The Movie (2009)

I can't believe that someone could read Watchmen what must have been dozens or hundreds of times and still completely miss the point. The original comic book is a lot of things, but it's not subtle about the super heroes being pathetic and unheroic. It's like if someone made a detailed film adaptation of To Kill A Mockingbird, and the entire focus was on sewing costumes for school plays.

{"content":{"id":719,"title":"Love, Death And Robots","body":"\u003cimg src=\"/uploads/25a.jpg\" class=\"card-image small\"\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nApparently they wanted to do something like 'Neo-Tokyo', or 'Heavy Metal', or 'Memories', but whatever weird cultural conditions that made those movies possible are long, long gone. Instead, this is very, very fancy CGI with writing that ranges from below-average to cringey. A lot of one-dimensional characters, a lot of jokes that don't land, a lot of extremely old science-fiction cliches exhumed and presented with as little enthusiasm as possible. \r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nThe constant attempts at edginess in 'Love, Death And Robots' are offset by the fact that all of the stories are older than Poodle Skirts. No amount of CGI titty is going to cover the fact that they're selling young people watered-down versions of stories that were written before sitcom married couples slept in separate beds.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nI want to say that this is an example of style over substance, but those old anthologies managed to be cool in spite of or because of style over substance. Besides, 'Love, Death and Robots' isn't really that stylish, in spite of the top-notch CGI. I kept going 'Wow, that CGI is marginally better than CGI from two years ago!', then getting quickly bored of scenes that were basically visually uninteresting. I have no idea what kind of decision-making process lead to such a poorly-executed project.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-05-19T12:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-05-18T20:59:43.000Z","updated_at":"2020-11-19T01:49:29.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=tv\"\u003etv\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=science_fiction\"\u003escience_fiction\u003c/a\u003e"}

Love, Death And Robots

Apparently they wanted to do something like 'Neo-Tokyo', or 'Heavy Metal', or 'Memories', but whatever weird cultural conditions that made those movies possible are long, long gone. Instead, this is very, very fancy CGI with writing that ranges from below-average to cringey. A lot of one-dimensional characters, a lot of jokes that don't land, a lot of extremely old science-fiction cliches exhumed and presented with as little enthusiasm as possible.

The constant attempts at edginess in 'Love, Death And Robots' are offset by the fact that all of the stories are older than Poodle Skirts. No amount of CGI titty is going to cover the fact that they're selling young people watered-down versions of stories that were written before sitcom married couples slept in separate beds.

I want to say that this is an example of style over substance, but those old anthologies managed to be cool in spite of or because of style over substance. Besides, 'Love, Death and Robots' isn't really that stylish, in spite of the top-notch CGI. I kept going 'Wow, that CGI is marginally better than CGI from two years ago!', then getting quickly bored of scenes that were basically visually uninteresting. I have no idea what kind of decision-making process lead to such a poorly-executed project.

{"content":{"id":665,"title":"Faraway, So Close (1993)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nI really wanted to like this because I liked the first one so much. But, really, it's unfocused, dumb, ruins all the characters, and the plot is that they're preventing Germans from watching porn?\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-04-27T12:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-04-26T23:22:41.000Z","updated_at":"2019-05-24T00:15:16.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=german\"\u003egerman\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=religion\"\u003ereligion\u003c/a\u003e"}

Faraway, So Close (1993)

I really wanted to like this because I liked the first one so much. But, really, it's unfocused, dumb, ruins all the characters, and the plot is that they're preventing Germans from watching porn?

{"content":{"id":613,"title":"Scent Of A Woman (1992)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nThis hasn't aged well. It's 90sish in the worst way possible. Like \u003ca href=\"https://sananab.ca/posts/568\"\u003eA Few Good Men\u003c/a\u003e, someone has proven that this movie can be \u003ca href=\"https://youtu.be/V9kQBz9azy8\"\u003eedited down to less than 3 minutes\u003c/a\u003e without losing any important plot points or characterization.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-04-22T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-03-24T16:35:00.000Z","updated_at":"2019-06-23T17:12:40.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=the_nineties\"\u003ethe_nineties\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=perfect_edits\"\u003eperfect_edits\u003c/a\u003e"}

Scent Of A Woman (1992)

This hasn't aged well. It's 90sish in the worst way possible. Like A Few Good Men, someone has proven that this movie can be edited down to less than 3 minutes without losing any important plot points or characterization.

{"content":{"id":654,"title":"Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable (2018)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nBefore having a daytime talk show, Ellen was one of the best stand-up comedians out there. On this 68-minute Netflix comedy special, she actually manages to remember to do an entire 14 minutes of good stand up in between her Gelman-and-Cody-are-doing-great personal life fan updates. I'm happy to see Ellen be successful, and I'm happy to see her having fun, but I just can't dig the weird obsessive fan ego-feeding relationship, or the gigantic Oprah head she's developed as a result.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-04-20T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-04-19T18:07:03.000Z","updated_at":"2019-04-23T02:45:13.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=tv\"\u003etv\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=stand_up\"\u003estand_up\u003c/a\u003e"}

Ellen DeGeneres: Relatable (2018)

Before having a daytime talk show, Ellen was one of the best stand-up comedians out there. On this 68-minute Netflix comedy special, she actually manages to remember to do an entire 14 minutes of good stand up in between her Gelman-and-Cody-are-doing-great personal life fan updates. I'm happy to see Ellen be successful, and I'm happy to see her having fun, but I just can't dig the weird obsessive fan ego-feeding relationship, or the gigantic Oprah head she's developed as a result.

{"content":{"id":514,"title":"Unbreakable (2000)","body":"\u003cimg src=\"/uploads/1b6.jpg\" class=\"card-image small\"\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe whole thing is a set up for sequels. It was way ahead of its time, as it predicted our current modern flood of failed/boring franchises planned out long before the first movie starts filming.\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-03-03T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-02-01T17:10:32.000Z","updated_at":"2020-11-14T21:14:32.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=movies\"\u003emovies\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=superhero\"\u003esuperhero\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=franchise_trash\"\u003efranchise_trash\u003c/a\u003e"}

Unbreakable (2000)

The whole thing is a set up for sequels. It was way ahead of its time, as it predicted our current modern flood of failed/boring franchises planned out long before the first movie starts filming.

{"content":{"id":569,"title":"The Fix (2018)","body":"\u003cp\u003e\r\nAmericans and Canadians can't do comedy panel shows. Even if they are extremely funny comedians, they are always awful on a panel compared to Brits and Aussies and Irish. The South Africans and Kiwis that occasionally pop up on \u003ci\u003eHave You Been Paying Attention\u003c/i\u003e are better on panel shows than Katherine Ryan has ever been. I don't know why. I don't know what deep cultural differences cause North Americans to be totally non-functional on one specific type of TV show.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nOnce in a while they try to make an American panel show. Sometimes they'll try to sweeten the pot by shoving some successful panel show regulars from British TV on, but it never works. The Fix wasn't as big a train wreck as \u003ca href=\"https://youtu.be/ZZ1weQNKNr8\"\u003ethis\u003c/a\u003e, but it wasn't consistently good and I wouldn't recommend it.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2019-03-01T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2019-02-28T16:27:05.000Z","updated_at":"2019-05-12T15:45:14.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=tv\"\u003etv\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=panel_shows\"\u003epanel_shows\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=usa\"\u003eusa\u003c/a\u003e"}

The Fix (2018)

Americans and Canadians can't do comedy panel shows. Even if they are extremely funny comedians, they are always awful on a panel compared to Brits and Aussies and Irish. The South Africans and Kiwis that occasionally pop up on Have You Been Paying Attention are better on panel shows than Katherine Ryan has ever been. I don't know why. I don't know what deep cultural differences cause North Americans to be totally non-functional on one specific type of TV show.


Once in a while they try to make an American panel show. Sometimes they'll try to sweeten the pot by shoving some successful panel show regulars from British TV on, but it never works. The Fix wasn't as big a train wreck as this, but it wasn't consistently good and I wouldn't recommend it.

{"content":{"id":440,"title":"Evangeline - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow","body":"\u003cimg src=\"/uploads/165.jpg\" class=\"card-image\"\u003e\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\n\u003cp class=\"quote\" style=\"width: 60vw\"\u003e\r\nFair was she to behold, that maiden of seventeen summers.\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\nBlack were her eyes as the berry that grows on the thorn by the wayside,\t\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\nBlack, yet how softly they gleamed beneath the brown shade of her tresses!\t\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\nSweet was her breath as the breath of kine that feed in the meadows.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nThis is the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life. I kept trying to read on after this line, but my head was filled with the image of people putting their heads into cows' mouths, taking a deep huff, and screaming \"Ahhhhhh!\" with pleasure. Or images of a man and a woman in a bar giving each other flirtatious glances. The man walks up to the woman and says, \"You have cow's breath.\"\r\n\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cbr\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\r\nAnyway, this is the worst poem I have ever seen in my life, but I am giving it 2/5 because of the hilarious and evocative imagery.\r\n\u003c/p\u003e","publication_date":"2018-12-25T12:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2018-12-18T20:02:44.000Z","updated_at":"2018-12-18T20:22:37.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=us\"\u003eus\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=poetry\"\u003epoetry\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=animals\"\u003eanimals\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=nature\"\u003enature\u003c/a\u003e"}

Evangeline - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



Fair was she to behold, that maiden of seventeen summers.
Black were her eyes as the berry that grows on the thorn by the wayside,
Black, yet how softly they gleamed beneath the brown shade of her tresses!
Sweet was her breath as the breath of kine that feed in the meadows.


This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life. I kept trying to read on after this line, but my head was filled with the image of people putting their heads into cows' mouths, taking a deep huff, and screaming "Ahhhhhh!" with pleasure. Or images of a man and a woman in a bar giving each other flirtatious glances. The man walks up to the woman and says, "You have cow's breath."


Anyway, this is the worst poem I have ever seen in my life, but I am giving it 2/5 because of the hilarious and evocative imagery.

{"content":{"id":335,"title":"Review Of Joe Rogan's Career","body":"\u003cimg src=\"/uploads/10b.jpg\"\u003e\r\n\u003cul\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\r\n\u003cb\u003e1995-1999\u003c/b\u003e - Joe Rogan plays \"Joe\", the funny handyman on Newsradio.\r\n\u003c/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\r\n\u003cb\u003e2001-2006\u003c/b\u003e - Joe Rogan is the host of a show where they pay people to touch bugs. It is mildly entertaining for about five minutes at a time.\r\n\u003c/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\r\n\u003cb\u003eca. 2013\u003c/b\u003e - I hear some methheads hanging out in a gas station talking about Joe Rogan as if he was some sort of Messiah. \"Must be a different Joe Rogan.\" I thought.\r\n\u003c/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\r\n\u003cb\u003e2013-Present\u003c/b\u003e - Joe Rogan becomes the new God of highly-strung white guys. Talking about the Joe Rogan show becomes the new \"Did you know I own several Japanese swords?\" Joe Rogan fandom is like Fight Club if the only rule of Fight Club was \"Always talk about Fight Club\".\r\n\u003c/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\r\n\u003cb\u003eEarly 2018\u003c/b\u003e - I was messing around on the internet, and and I saw someone write that Netflix is being socially irresponsible by not giving Joe Rogan a show, because if they did it would fix the problems of the world.\r\n\u003c/li\u003e\r\n\u003cli\u003e\r\n\u003cb\u003eLate 2018\u003c/b\u003e - I see an ad on Netflix for a Joe Rogan special. The ad is just him saying every edgy early 90s stand up cliche imaginable. \"People are too sensitive now!\" \"A lot of people are gonna be angry about what I have to say!\" \"I'm just telling it like it is!\" \"What is the deal with airline food?!\" \"My name is Sam Kinison and this is Evening At The Improv!\" I can't tell if he's just that much of a hack, or if he is doing some sort of ironic performance art thing.\r\n\u003c/li\u003e\r\n\u003c/ul\u003e","publication_date":"2018-10-30T00:00:00.000Z","created_at":"2018-10-23T17:05:57.000Z","updated_at":"2021-02-19T01:10:07.000Z","user_id":1,"rating":2},"tags":"\u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=reviews\"\u003ereviews\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=human_life\"\u003ehuman_life\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=meth\"\u003emeth\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=newsradio\"\u003enewsradio\u003c/a\u003e \u003ca class=\"changeable-title\" href=\"/q?tag=standup\"\u003estandup\u003c/a\u003e"}

Review Of Joe Rogan's Career

  • 1995-1999 - Joe Rogan plays "Joe", the funny handyman on Newsradio.
  • 2001-2006 - Joe Rogan is the host of a show where they pay people to touch bugs. It is mildly entertaining for about five minutes at a time.
  • ca. 2013 - I hear some methheads hanging out in a gas station talking about Joe Rogan as if he was some sort of Messiah. "Must be a different Joe Rogan." I thought.
  • 2013-Present - Joe Rogan becomes the new God of highly-strung white guys. Talking about the Joe Rogan show becomes the new "Did you know I own several Japanese swords?" Joe Rogan fandom is like Fight Club if the only rule of Fight Club was "Always talk about Fight Club".
  • Early 2018 - I was messing around on the internet, and and I saw someone write that Netflix is being socially irresponsible by not giving Joe Rogan a show, because if they did it would fix the problems of the world.
  • Late 2018 - I see an ad on Netflix for a Joe Rogan special. The ad is just him saying every edgy early 90s stand up cliche imaginable. "People are too sensitive now!" "A lot of people are gonna be angry about what I have to say!" "I'm just telling it like it is!" "What is the deal with airline food?!" "My name is Sam Kinison and this is Evening At The Improv!" I can't tell if he's just that much of a hack, or if he is doing some sort of ironic performance art thing.