Inception (2010)


Berserk: The Golden Age Arc 1 - The Egg of the King (2012)

It has some good moments, and some dull moments. The trilogy is overall bad and whatever potential I thought this first one had, the next two didn't live up to. Avoid.



The Dark Knight (2008)

As good a superhero movie as the decade produced and a miracle of post-production. Its lustre has been pretty badly diminished by its horrible, horrible, horrible fans.



Berserk: The Golden Age Arc 2 - The Battle for Doldrey (2012)

I didn't think the first one was that good, but I thought it had potential. This one was boring, stupid, and was weighted down with subplots that did nothing to drive the story forward. I wouldn't recommend any of these movies, but if you're really set on watching them, at least do yourself a favour and miss this one.



Batman Begins (2005)

I liked it the first time. The second time, the new car smell had faded and it felt like it was hitting me over the head with the courage thing.



Berserk: The Golden Age Arc 3 - The Advent (2013)

After hours of waiting for this series to get better, part three offers a really good plot twist, and great artwork. Then, out of nowhere, a tentacle rape scene. I wish I'd never wasted my time.



Patriot Games (1992)

The characters suspensefully twiddle their thumbs for about an hour and a half, then there's a nice action scene.



Metal Gear Solid (1998)

It's the sort of twitchy, old-school game where you're guaranteed to die every couple minutes, without warning, even if you're good. That's fine. Some of those old games are fun. Every time you die, the phone rings. You start to associate the sound of the phone ringing with unexpected death. The problem is, the phone also frequently rings when you DON'T die, and the NPCs just want to chat with you. I don't think English has a word to describe the unpleasantness of a machine training you to have Pavlovian reaction of instant annoyance to a certain sound, and then using that reaction to fuck around with you.


Beyond that, its visuals are dull, its gameplay is repetitive. At one point, for no reason, a naked, unconscious woman has her butt sticking up in the air, which seems more like a joke about a Japanese game developer than something a Japanese game developer would actually do.


I tried to write about how stupid a character Revolver Ocelot is, but every description I came up with made him sound awesome, so I'll just leave you with this video.



The Lego Batman Movie (2017)

Not as consistently good as The Lego Movie, but a still a lot better than it has any right to be.