Tim Burton Batman (1989)

I don't agree with Scorsese about superhero movies, but I have to admit that this one really helps his case. The individual scenes are all very good, but they don't actually coalesce into any kind of story, only the vague outline of something resembling a plot. It's like a short film anthology. Jack Nicholson plays the same character he always plays. There's a bunch of good music by Prince, which is awesome but doesn't fit the movie in any way.

It was always one of the weaker superhero movies, but it's worse today: Batman and the Joker are totally played out, and their weird creepy fans have destroyed whatever appeal they still have left after so much overexposure.

Modern Art - Sam Hunter et al.

Blarg. Sometimes this book has a lot of interesting things to say, which kept me reading. A lot of the time, they're just blandly listing off as many artists as possible. This is a very frustrating book, because it could have been really good if the authors had just focused in a bit more.

Diodorus Siculus: The Library of History, Volume V

This one mainly deals with the Peloponnesian War and boy is it a slog. Except the part about the Sicilian expedition, of course. I came away feeling like I knew less about the War than when I started.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

This is the one where nothing really happens, except there's some evil lady in the snow, but the characters only vaguely care about her because of their love triangle.

This is my favourite Twilight movie, though, because of Jasper's accent. Jasper looks like an awkward, uncomfortable Harpo Marx. In the first two movies he doesn't speak much, but when he does it's with a neutral North American accent. Then, all the sudden, in this movie, he has a thick Foghorn Leghorn accent and spends the next three films screaming things like, "AH DO DECLARE". It is hilarious beyond words. In my heart, Jasper's accents are truly the stars of this franchise.

Doctor Strange (2016)

It has nice CGI but, other than that, it's an extremely predictable, by-the-books, middle-of-the-road, run-of-the-mill, average superhero movie. The climax involves him boring the bad guy into giving up, and I sympathize.

Interstellar (2014)

I always really enjoy this movie until the last ten minutes, which are remarkably bad. How can such a good movie turn around so fast? It's almost like some kind of a expensive and elaborate practical joke.

Man Of Steel (2013)

On my world "Zack Snyder" means "It will be boring and stupid but I'll still watch it anyway for some reason".

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

Kingsmen could have been the next James Bond but what is this? It's like they had a brainstorming session, and decided to go with every single idea they'd jotted down, leading to about two dozen malformed, dangling subplots awkwardly mashed together into something horrible and nearly unwatchable. The sad part is, there's a 90-minute rough draft buried somewhere in there that could have been worked into something really good.

Lucy (2014)

This is a big, professionally-made movie that's based around the idea that humans only use 10% of their brains. Except that's a dumb myth from the 1800s and makes the movie impossible to enjoy.

What's even more frustrating is that there's a lot of craftmanship and talent here and, with a bit of a rewrite, it probably could have been one of the great science fiction films of all time, instead of a cringefest. If only one of the hundreds of people who worked on this had pointed out the error, at any point during the film's making...

This is also at least the third movie where Scarlett Johansson has ascended to a higher plane of reality, and I'd be curious to know why producers and Johansson herself think of her that way.