Avengers: Endgame (2019)





Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)

Kingsmen could have been the next James Bond but what is this? It's like they had a brainstorming session, and decided to go with every single idea they'd jotted down, leading to about two dozen malformed, dangling subplots awkwardly mashed together into something horrible and nearly unwatchable. The sad part is, there's a 90-minute rough draft buried somewhere in there that could have been worked into something really good.



Mission Impossible: Fallout (2019)

Super-fun, super-dramatic spy movie. Even Henry Cavill somehow doesn't seem to suck, although that might just be good editing. Pretty impressive that the sixth movie in an extremely irregular franchise would be the best one.



Lucy (2014)

This is a big, professionally-made movie that's based around the idea that humans only use 10% of their brains. Except that's a dumb myth from the 1800s and makes the movie impossible to enjoy.

What's even more frustrating is that there's a lot of craftmanship and talent here and, with a bit of a rewrite, it probably could have been one of the great science fiction films of all time, instead of a cringefest. If only one of the hundreds of people who worked on this had pointed out the error, at any point during the film's making...

This is also at least the third movie where Scarlett Johansson has ascended to a higher plane of reality, and I'd be curious to know why producers and Johansson herself think of her that way.



Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King The Movie (2003)

Still an impressively good adaptation of an impossible-to-adapt book. It still feels so fresh, and the special effects still work so well, that it's hard to think that this is sixteen years old.



Gladiator (2000)

I get that most historical movies are about as accurate as this one is, but why use real names? Imagine if they made a movie about Jimmy Carter killing Gerald Ford, and then developing a violent blood feud with some made-up baseball player.

Anyway, this movie is weird emotions porn and very boring.



Inception (2010)


Berserk: The Golden Age Arc 1 - The Egg of the King (2012)

It has some good moments, and some dull moments. The trilogy is overall bad and whatever potential I thought this first one had, the next two didn't live up to. Avoid.



The Dark Knight (2008)

As good a superhero movie as the decade produced and a miracle of post-production. Its lustre has been pretty badly diminished by its horrible, horrible, horrible fans.