Meet the Parents (2000)

It was a fun enough Sunday afternoon movie. It was good enough that I wouldn't even call it totally mediocre. But if you had told me, back in the futuristic year 2000, that they were going to make two sequels, I'd have never believed you.

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)

This, along with the indie rock popular around the same time, created the obnoxious precedent that affluent white guys whining about being sad is culturally significant.

Prometheus (2012)

The internet made me feel bad for liking this. I'm not sure why I let them influence me; the only movies the internet likes are the Dark Knight, MCU movies, and the Star Wars franchise but none of the individual Star Wars movies.

Anyway, I'm supposed to hate this because, in the film, some characters in their 20s make an irrational decision under duress, which I am supposed to find unrealistic. I'd say this is about as good as the seventh movie in a franchise is going to get.

The Wolverine (2018)

Wolverine goes to Japan and works his way down a checklist of Japan things, like seeing an a-bomb explode and runing through a pachinko parlour.

The Celebration (1998)

It's meant to be shocking and serious and definitely not entertaining. It's meant to provoke discussion but what discussion? There's not many people on the other side of these issues, and this movie isn't going to change any minds about anything.

It seems a little disingenuous when filmmakers do this, because film just isn't the right medium for these kinds of discussions. Film is the right medium for dinosaurs and explosions and spaceships. Do you honestly thing fewer kids are going to get raped because a few aficionados undertook the chore of sitting through an uncomfortable art film for an hour and a half?

Black Panther

I'm glad these are good again.

Filming the Godfather

Silence (2016)

Here are some Jewish people being massacred in Lisbon's main square. Notice the people up front. As key members of the Portuguese Inquisition, Portuguese Jesuits searched out hidden Jewish communities, who were massacred upon discovery. This went on from 1531 to 1773. The fact that the Portuguese Jesuit characters in this film were witnessing Buddhists doing to Christians what Jesuits did to Jews in Portugal was either intentional or unintentional irony, but Scorsese never lets on.

It's a very well-made movie, but the main character is not believable as a 17th century Jesuit. Every aspect of his character bleeds with modern thinking, and there's no getting past that for me.

Jack (1996)

It's a heart-warming/tear-jerking family comedy about a boy who ages four times faster than normal, so by the time he is ten, he has the body of a forty year old. You can probably guess the entire plot from there.

The movie seems to be barely aware of how horrific the premise actually is, but that's fine because future-suicide Robin William's ad-libbing is a pleasant distraction.