MCU #2: The Incredible Hulk (2008)

In spite of supposedly hating filming this, Edward Norton delivers a pretty good performance. It's an enjoyable film, until the big final sequence, where it segues into a generic superhero climax that doesn't fit the film or the character.


Of the 20 MCU films out right now, this is the only one that seems to have been completely, totally forgotten. It's like it's vanished from the face of the universe. Not coincidentally, this is the only phase one movie to have gone with a typical action film director, instead of a weird, risky unusual choice.



Live And Let Die (1973)


This has my vote for worst James Bond movie. Even a campy movie like Moonraker has its charms and some good action sequences.


James Bond is completely out-of-place in a blaxploitation film. Roger Moore is bland and obnoxious; he was never the best Bond, but he's a lot more watchable in any other Bond film. Every scene is flat and tiresome and misses the mark. In the dramatic climax, the main villain gets blown up like a balloon (pictured).


In the very last scene, we find out that the moral of the story is that Voodoo is real, even though Voodoo was pretty tangential to the plot. It's like if Godfather ended with Michael turning to the camera and saying, "I guess what we've all learned in these last few months is that oranges are delicious".



John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

I thought there wasn't much reason to have a John Wick sequel, but this turned out to be an Empire Strikes Back-level followup. The plot is excellent and the performances are outstanding. It's more stylized than the first, sometimes to the point of being extremely beautiful. Both of these movies have been extraordinary, and this is shaping up to be the trilogy of the decade.



Filth (2013)

A boring checklist of edgy things you've seen a million times.



Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)

I sat down planning to write a good review, except now I'm remembering John Hughes' other movies. It's hard to sympathize with the cheesy sentimentality of someone who publicly mocked visible minorities and whose heroes sexually molest teenage girls.

Let's just pretend John Hughes never existed. Want a 80s road comedy? Midnight Run is a hundred times funnier, has just as cheesy an ending, and doesn't leave such a bad taste in my mouth.



Captain Fantastic (2016)

I don't expect movies to be realistic, but this was just too implausible. Surviving off hunting and gathering is highly-skilled, full-time work. Giving a group of kids a world-class education is highly-skilled, full-time work. I'm supposed to get angry at the characters who don't support him, but if an athletic handsome genius white male polymath with well-sculpted muscles, an encyclopedic knowledge survival skills, and an encyclopedic knowledge of the liberal arts came up with an impeccable, perfect pedagogical method in real life, I doubt it would be such an uphill battle for him.



Meet the Parents (2000)

It was a fun enough Sunday afternoon movie. It was good enough that I wouldn't even call it totally mediocre. But if you had told me, back in the futuristic year 2000, that they were going to make two sequels, I'd have never believed you.



Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)

This, along with the indie rock popular around the same time, created the obnoxious precedent that affluent white guys whining about being sad is culturally significant.



Prometheus (2012)

The internet made me feel bad for liking this. I'm not sure why I let them influence me; the only movies the internet likes are the Dark Knight, MCU movies, and the Star Wars franchise but none of the individual Star Wars movies.

Anyway, I'm supposed to hate this because, in the film, some characters in their 20s make an irrational decision under duress, which I am supposed to find unrealistic. I'd say this is about as good as the seventh movie in a franchise is going to get.