Patriot Games (1992)

The characters suspensefully twiddle their thumbs for about an hour and a half, then there's a nice action scene.



Childrens Hospital - Season 5

This season starts with Dr. Blake Downs coming back from the dead and Childrens Hospital temporarily relocating to an army base in Japan. Dr. Sprat becomes a secret agent, Sy fakes a five-star restaurant to hoodwink a famous hospital reviewer, and it all comes together in a violent, gory battle of countryman against countryman. I hate that I have seen every episode of this show because I miss new Childrens Hospital so badly.



Grimm's Household Tales - Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm

The most famous collection of fairy tales, but a long way from being the best. The stories and their messages are weird and unbalanced - not just by the standards of the day - and there are also a couple of antisemitic stories that spoil the whole thing.

When I point something like that out, someone inevitably makes a "it was normal back then" argument, but I've never seen antisemitic stories in any other old folk tale collections and, according to one of the world's top experts, Maria Tatar, no other German collection from the 19th century has any similar stories. Besides that, story books like this are one of the first things to define what normal means for people, and should be held to a very high standard. I'd bet you bottom dollar that most people involved in implementing the Holocaust were introduced to the existence of Jews through this very book. A stain on the genre. A piece of garbage that's best left forgotten.



Metal Gear Solid (1998)

It's the sort of twitchy, old-school game where you're guaranteed to die every couple minutes, without warning, even if you're good. That's fine. Some of those old games are fun. Every time you die, the phone rings. You start to associate the sound of the phone ringing with unexpected death. The problem is, the phone also frequently rings when you DON'T die, and the NPCs just want to chat with you. I don't think English has a word to describe the unpleasantness of a machine training you to have Pavlovian reaction of instant annoyance to a certain sound, and then using that reaction to fuck around with you.


Beyond that, its visuals are dull, its gameplay is repetitive. At one point, for no reason, a naked, unconscious woman has her butt sticking up in the air, which seems more like a joke about a Japanese game developer than something a Japanese game developer would actually do.


I tried to write about how stupid a character Revolver Ocelot is, but every description I came up with made him sound awesome, so I'll just leave you with this video.



Angel's Egg (1985)

A disturbing, artsy 80s anime about a girl walking around with an egg. What more could you ask for?



The Lego Batman Movie (2017)

Not as consistently good as The Lego Movie, but a still a lot better than it has any right to be.



Meru (2015)

Some of the editing is pretty sketchy, but it's got great camera work and no stupid music, which is about all you can expect from a mountain climbing movie.



Mass Effect 3 (2012)

I only played the Mass Effect games years after this was released, so the original incomplete ending wasn't a big issue for me. Super fun, much more consistent expansions, incredible atmosphere of war and finality. I hate to be one of those Canadians, but I loved starting the game in Vancouver (and the weird fact that Bioware is located in Edmonton, of all places). I appreciate that they would put so much effort into building such a complex universe and so many unusually well-developed characters, and end it so finally that there is no real opportunity for a meaningful sequel.



Spiderman: Shattered Demensions (2010)

A game I got on sale years ago. Not bad for what I payed, and not bad for a game based on a property. A few parts were extremely fun, but the more tedious parts dragged it down enough that I never made to to the end, putting it off again and again until I stopped thinking about it entirely.